Day 16..."ever gentle on my mind"

Day 16, a day of rest and reflection

There are two songs today, both by Elvis, and both express my sentiments pretty well.

Ku Uipo    I Can't Help Falling In Love With You 

My laundry is done.  My hair has been cut.  I've caught up on my filing of trip photos.   I am truly enjoying an 'admin day' of no riding.  So what to blog about?

I've been thinking of writing this for a while and when I finished my visit to the old Scottish Presbyterian Cemetery at Ft. Bragg I decided to take this opportunity write about what was on my mind.

The lead in....

I first saw Catherine Turner's gravestone over 20 years ago while exploring (contrary to the no-trespassing sign) near the artillery impact area on the Ft Bragg range complex.  I don't know what led me to that grave, but I never forgot the inscription and always planned to go back and document it properly.   When I re-read the inscription a couple of days ago it struck me that I needed to share it. 

q

 

The tombstone belongs to Catharine Turner.  According to the information of the stone she was born in March, 1793, and died in October of 1856. She was 63 years old when she died... probably pretty old for someone in the 19th century.  She married Thomas Monroe.  The stone doesn't indicate if she had any children, or who her parents were or if there were any siblings.  It doesn't say where she was born, or how she lived, or what her life was like.  But I know, in my heart, that Catharine was a woman I would have really liked to have known.

During the hour or so that I spent at this cemetery I read a lot of inscriptions on adjacent tombstones.  Since then I've walked at least two other cemeteries with graves going back to the same time frame and read a large sampling of inscriptions.  Just today my sister-in-law, Ruth, went with me to the old cemetery down the road from her house in Charlottesville and we read several of the stones in the oldest part of the cemetery.   What we saw seemed to be same as I've seen in the other cemeteries... that is, pretty standard fare.  "Beloved wife and mother", "we will miss you", "your death has us all bereft of happiness", "sleeping with god", "living with the angels", "a good and pure woman".  I've seen all these sentiments, and many more in the same vein.  These inscriptions tell the world that the departed had a profound influence on the lives of their family and friends.  Some stones had only a name and date... indicating perhaps that the person was irascible, ornery, miserly or mean spirited?  Stones could not have been cheap back then and having a special inscription probably raised the cost even more.

 

But amongst all the stones I've seen on this trip there is not another inscription like Catharine's.  Hers is singular and unique.  She must have been special to have been loved so much by her husband.  The inscription reads:

My wife... she was mine own

I was as rich in loving such a jewel

As twenty seas if all the sand were pearl,

The water nectar, and all the rocks

Pure gold.

This man's demonstration of love for his wife during a period of time when all the other gravestones had, for lack of a better term, "standard fare" moved me like nothing else I've come across in a long, long, time.   I can't explain the emotions I felt when I read the inscription again after two decades. 

What experiences they must have shared.  They celebrated the good times and endured the bad times.  I imagine Catharine was a formidable woman who contributed in shared conversations about events of the day (and these were interesting times in the years between the revolution and civil war), the goings on of civilized life around them, and even the mundane things around the house and farm that needed discussing.  No television for them.  No 'running next door' to talk.  It was a man and woman in a candlelit, fireplace warmed, home that they made themselves.  Through it all she was wife and partner to Thomas, her husband and he loved her a great deal.  I know that because when she was gone he said to the world, 'She was my wife and I was rich for loving her...'
 

Just over 30 years ago Susan Lanning became my wife.  Everyone who knows us understands how much a saint Susan must be.  But here, on the internet (we aren't ready for a tombstone yet) I would like to declare my love for Susan. 

30 Years ago

For 30 years she has been my strong right arm, the hand on the tiller that sails our ship of life.  She gave me two beautiful daughters.  She has been there for me every day.  I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I thank the good lord for letting me have her in my life.

Our 30th Anniversary Trip

 

Since everyone we know will agree that I don't deserve her, I suppose I will spend every day for the rest of my life loving her and trying to justify her decision to marry me.

With apologies to E.A. Poe... "We loved with a love that was more than love, me and my Susan Marie"